don't cry out loud

don't cry out loud i'll keep it inside, I guess that's what I'm going to sing from this very moment, I am depressed and I hate it, I don't want to talk to anybody right now even if someone wants to talk with me, yeah the least person I've ever expected.

I feel so alone and sad, I asks myself, why it has to be this way, why I felt and continue to feel this way. I've been patiently listening to cries of other people and my friends, and keep on giving opinions and comforting words, now it's my time to cry, why is it that nobody wants to hear me, that's make me sad, but crazy, there's this man who wants to listen, but I keep on pushing him away, you know what? because I don't want him too, the more I confessed what's happening to me the more I cry. Maybe, times like this, really happens and I don't know how long it will lasts, I hope soon because it makes me sick, I try to be happy, and I am happy now, but a little bit sad, I am crying while I'm writing this. Can't understand myself right now, hope this will be over, I'm not myself this past few days.

So many things I want to write but I don't know, there's a feeling of hesitancy on my part, there's hope all over my heart and in my soul, just feel a little bit tired. I need time of myself now. The people that I love I will keep you in my heart, and it doesn't matter anymore if you will love me back, I will be hurt but there's nothing I can do.

When I'll be back it would be different, it will be old brand new me, la la la, hehe