cold, cold

I have colds (sniff) but that's not the reason why I did not post, it's because I was so busy, well I'm still busy but no mood to work now. I supposed to post something a week ago, because I felt bad about the news on same sex marriage. It was June 25, I remembered it right, I was on a wedding, and a reported texted me where am I, and I told him that I was at a wedding. No idea what's the news about, then came Monday, he was handling me the news, and I was viewing it, I felt that my blood risen up at the back of my neck, oh, Lord what's happened?

I just want to make myself clear, I have nothing against lesbians and gays, I have friends that belong to the third sex, I don't even condemn the act committed by them, but what I am furious about is the rite their perform. It's almost the rite as my faith, hello, can you have other rite? I mean, your just mimicking other religion's right, and you call that holy? I just hope that soon they will come to your senses. Anyways, I don't want to prolong my sentiments on that issue, over and out!

wondering

I was wondering when was the story about Santa Claus and the elves started. I know something about Santa, he's a wealthy man decided to become priest and Bishop of Myra but was persecuted during the roman empire. He was known for his love to the children specially to the less fortunate. His a wealthy man but his parents died when he was young. Then he sold all his belongings and give it to the poor, after his death, he was known for his love to children. So, that's the fact I know about santa or the Father of Christmas., in which he was n ever married so there is no Mrs. Claus.

About his elves, his official helpers, I know less about them, but what I heard is, elves are nature spirits, and according to the book that I am reading (it's a religious book authored by a catholic priest) elves are nature spirits which is basically evil. Ahhhaaa! If this is true, that elves are evil and helping Santa to make toys for kids, I'd rather play tumbang preso with the "taong-grasa" over the street than playing toys, made by demons. Although, Santa is a myth BUT St. Nicholas is not. Now i know. Merry Christmas, yeah I know, it's June, but it's a nice feeling to feel the spirits of Christmas everyday, coz when it's Christmas all of us are good, all of us are givers. See? Everything about Christmas is good, minus the elves. Hehehe!

just another day

Good day bloggers! It's been awhile again, anyways, today I was so desperate to find the piano sheets of the following songs, what are words, fall for you, and first love, whew! It's difficult than expected, I am planning to buy in on store but they are not available, so how's that? desperation continues. I cried over and over when I watched chris medina's what are words, but when i woke this morning I've realized that there's nothing to cry about, but instead a celebration of love. Despite what happened to his girlfriend he still love and care for her, what a great a love, and it's a nice feeling to know that great love still exists at this point in time.

Ok, another desperation is about a book entitled "Exorcism, Encounter by the Paranormal and the Occult" don't get me wrong, this book was written by Fr. Jocis, head of exorcist in the Diocese of Manila. I've been searching and waiting for this book over a year now, but I got this book ON TIME, as in at the right time. I can't say that I am a psychic for I know that being one is difficult and prone to the darkness. And speaking of darkness I almost invited the devil for a cup of tea, I added this one on FB and he's a psychic and I know that they have rituals in opening the third eye, I almost mailed him on how to open the third eye, coz I really want to open mine, and I know that I am ready with it, and I know too that with the opening of my third eye I am able to help people, well that's what I am thinking . But then my friend went to Manila for some business and i really beg him to search and buy the book for me, and thank God he really bought it for me. Then I was still thinking of mailing the psychic, but due to my shyness and the book that I got, I postponed it, and there I came across on the word "occult" supernatural powers does not need any incantation nor meditation, for if you do, you are invoking the devil to help you in such circumstances, and if you keep on practicing it, possible possession would occur. See? thanks to my shyness and the book. If not, I maybe indulging in preternatural powers. Thank God really. But something crazy happen when I started to read the book, I don't know if it's coincidence but when I am trying to put my bracelets on that morning it's just broke and the beads scattered all over my bed, then I got another one, and guess what it's broken too, beads scattered again, it's like iikksss ppffttt, so what? Then I started saying, really? seriously? I just say a little prayer. Trust me, I know when there's something in my own very room. But sign of the cross really helps as Father Jocis do. whew! that's for now, I'll be back later.

just a reply

I was watching Anthony Taberna's Iba Balita last night, it's my first time to watch his show, I don't even know that our antenna can pick up the signal of studio 23, well in case you did not know about the show from the Balita it's a news and information show. And he interviewed former DOH secretary which I cannot recall her name (sorry) about RH Bill, she's a pro by the way but it's not my concern, Anthony asks a question, it's like aanhin natin ang maraming bata kung ang mga ito ay nagnanakaw ng cellphone, nagda-drugs or nagra-rugby. " It's a nice question but, is it the fault of the government if we have this kind of young individual? for me NO, maraming bata mula sa Luzon, Visayas at Mindanao anga lumaki sa hirap pero hindi sila gumagawa ng masama, at hindi kailanman dahilan ang kahirapan upang gumawa tayo ngkahit anong kabalbalan. Para sa akin, kasalanan ng magulang iyan, at ang pagkukulang ng magulang ay isinisisi natin sa gobyerno. Like I said, maraming bata ang nagugutom pero hindi lahat ng bata ay nag-iisip ng masama. Maraming bata ang namulat sa karangyaan pero ano ang ginagawa nila? Karamihan nagfi-facebook nasaan ang kabataan pag-asa ng bayan? Andun sa kalye nagwewelga sa tuition fee hike, ano ba talaga ang problema natin? Sino ba talaga ang problema, ang mahihirap o ang mga mayayaman? Nakapag-aral o ang walang pinag-aralan. Education is the key to success? Seriously? Sino ba ang nagpapahirap sa atin, mga mahihirap ba o ang mga nakapag-aral. Tsk TSk, unending question, we propose answer but never a solution. And I think RH BILL is neither an answer o solution. The sanctity of sex will be gone, isn't it that the purpose of sex is to pro-create? If you use birth-control devices as the pro RH call it, to have sex, then sex is just for pleasure. I remember one time, way back in college, the best natural method in population control is to say NO to SEX.

another day

I.ve been thinking what will I right today, because there’s so many things in my brain right now. What’s happening to the forum that I am moderating but I guess that’s part of life, you met people with bad attitude, jumping to conclusion without gathering datas to support their judgment. Funny thing is, they pretend to be ok when it’s not, I can say it’s ok to pretend that you are fine, who knows you can convince yourself that you are really ok. But this is what I am going to say: Never blame other people for what had happened to you or to your relationship because you are the one who arte in that relationship not other people, respect your mate, obey your mate because that’s one factor that you love your mate by obeying his words. I’m not saying total obedience what I am saying is, if you want your relationship to last, at least obey and respect your partner.

Love is patience. I was watching Sara Geronimo and Gerald Anderson’s Catch Me I’m In-love last night, its quite a kilig movie, and there’s this line “Love is not that easy like a facebook status that you can change it anytime you want” I was sharing this because there’s someone I know that she fell for someone that she barely knows but two days? Seriously? Oh well love moves in mysterious ways but I guess easy to get, easy to lose. Sometimes, love and death are the same they are like theft, they will attack you even if you are not ready.

Choose the people around you, remember the Bible saying about friends, “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are” this is true, no matter how good and noble person you are and you know that you are that kind of person, but you are hanging out with people with corrupted personality, you will be rotten also, like a fresh apple being mix with rotten apples.

Choose your words, wisely. Eat, Pray and Love, a quote from that movie, choose your word as you choose your dress. Master your thoughts, if you cannot master it, you will be in trouble. When I was younger, I really have a sharp tongue, that my words can kill a battalion of marines, and yes, I’ve always gotten myself in trouble, but as I grow maturely, I can now control my words. Meditation and prayer helps, and reading powerful quotes.

Mastering the word of God. That’s the only way you can defeat your enemy, internal or external. Everyday as I see people that makes my blood boil, I just close my eyes and remember what St. Paul says to the Corinth, Do not let your neighbor cause you into a sin. When I got mad, I’m really bad, and I don’t want my soul to suffer, that’s why it’s total control, and not to lose my grip to His Words but sometimes I lose myself, maybe it’s part of being my immaturity. I guess I should avoid people who are determined to put me down, what ya think? Hehehe yeah I know there’s so much more to share, but I am hungry now. Laterzzz

what happened?

Rise and Shine Regina hahaha. It's been a long time since I Updated this blog and I don't know why, maybe laziness strike, but really I got so busy on the first quarter of this year but today I am back on my feet. Whew!!! I miss talking here, but on a second thought what I am going to write.

Last week as I trying to fix my things on my room, in which I seldom do, I found all the lost notebooks that I thought I misplaced but voila nope, I just placed it somewhere along the four corner of my room. So I scan one the notebooks coz there are three notebooks that I thought I'd lost. I found small notes that I made, actually I made the note during a sermon on a wedding. I wrote there, I Love You, and Love is equivalent to God. I was thinking what on earth is the sermon is all about, darn my head, hahaha I can't remember it. The following night, I was reading a book entitled, "What would you do if Love found you" interesting book, well for me. It pop on my mind what's the sermon of the priest is all about.

So here it goes, I love you is a sacred word that the mere fact the God is love. When you say I love you, comprises with 3 personas I God and You, so every time that you said the word I love you, you have to mean it, because God is present there.

So it's like saying, I and God loving you, if you want we can make a good relationship together as God as our center. if you're a man or woman would you refuse that kind of word??? No comment on that, coz I believe that everything happens for good reason and every partner was choosen by God, if you allow Him to choose your partner. Bye for now......

another year

I thank God for another year to be with the people that I love and to enjoy God's unending love to me. I did not expect gifts (materials) from anybody but the time that those people who called, texted and message is enough gift already for I know that through thick and thin they will always be there for me. Although it was not that superb birthday because members of my family had a misunderstanding, well, every family have it sometimes, all you have to do is talk about, I just pray that all the involved party have an open mind about it.

And I don't know if I wrote something about my gift to myself about a novel that I am writing, well unfortunately I did not finish it yet, due to some reasons, but instead, like I said I just bought a book for me, I have not finished the first book yet, it's a collection of 40 love stories, it's a nice read, by the way, it's a sort of inspiration. Actually, at first I was hesitant to buy this book, because I was really rooting to buy "When God wrote your love story" I just want to read that book even if the surveys is a so-so book. Yeah I know that, there's no love story are the same, but since I want to gift myself aside from fancy earrings (its my collection by the way) I decided to buy that book, and again, it's just an option, for without the book "When God wrote your love story" I would buy the other book how to find your one true love, but then again the book is not availablem (sigh) And as I was browsing for an e-book I stumble to 125 ways to meet your one true love, and no ebook available as of this writing. Whew!

I remember, praying to God, "God please take care of Mr. Right for me, please?" (with matching smile) I am not tired of praying that every night even if there is no Mr. Right yet, and I asked myself, should I pray also that God let me meet Mr. Right? Yes, I pray that once in awhile, but deep in my heart, I'm not ready to meet him, specially the confusion I had in my dreams? Hhhhmmm I guess we should wait for the Godly time for both of us. If you are going ask me, why would I let my dreams confused me? It's just a dream! But no, dreams sometimes are God's way to talk to us, remember Abraham, Jacob, Joseph, etc? God speak to them in their dreams. So don't you just ignore your dreams.

people...people

I don't know where to start this one, uuhhmmm maybe I should start by mentioning the Cathedral. The cathedral is beautiful as ever, but It's more beautiful now, that some construction had been added to it, better sound system and the like. Different kind of people attend masses on this church, different kind people visited the church, but sometimes, my blood boils especially during Sundays, when non-catholics came up here, visited the cathedral, have their picture taken. I have no problem taking picture with the cathedral, me myself takes picture also, but NOT during SUNDAYS or during mass. There's this word "respect" as I have said no problem on taking pictures, but not when the Mass is going on, and specially when you have a loud voice, louder than the church bell yelling 1,2, 3 smile! followed by ha! ha! ha!

Other thing, you go there to pray, not to discuss a nursing board exam. I was really annoyed and disturbed one Sunday, when 3 students murmuring all throughout the mass discussing about their lessons, common the Church is not a place to discuss your lesson. Whew! another blood boiling incident, to avoid sin on church, stay away from this kind of corrupt individuals. So many places in the cathedral to hear mass, anyway its speaker is loud enough to hear even if you are at the giant stairs, but get distracted still by the passerby , plus vendors, if you decide to stay there. Solution is, don't be late when attending mass.

I was late again for the 4 PM mass, so I decided to stay at the front left part of the cathedral, (if your facing the cathedral) it's sermon time, my addiction now is to hear sermon of the priests, (not bad right). Well, there's this gay (I have nothing against gays, I have friends who are gays)

(he,she,it) with 2 friends(ladies) they just arrived and after millisecond, they leaved, the gay wave us by saying, "tara na, wala naman kuwenta makinig ng misa" I got shocked, and I looked at the person beside me, and his head turned from left to right, without a word, I read his mind.

Why I am writing this anyway, nothing, I'm just boring. Ha, ha, no actually I was really disappointed on people, not on all people, for I know that there are more people who have better heart.....

another book

I just finished reading the book, "You have the power to create love" by Bo Sanchez, actually it's my first time to read his book, I found out that all or almost his works are bestsellers. I just accidentally (or God really showed it to me) saw him on Facebook, you know the advertisement at the right side of the page, when you get to see various of groups, people, shows and so many more. It's not out of curiosity, I have seen his books on bookstores but did not bother to buy it. So I added him on my likes, so what happen is, if his page is updated, it will be shown on your wall, and the first ever post on my wall through him is about an hungry soul, and that's the beginning of my addiction to his words or works. Take note, not all addiction is bad, especially when you indulge yourself to this kind of addiction, listening to people that possesses the tongue of a saint and a heart of an angel.

Let's get back to the book, the book if I may described is blogger book (well that's my opinion) it consists of his own stories and experiences as a son, husband, father and a messenger of God. His stories are not extra-ordinary. I have heard and read stories like that before, more melancholic than his stories, but what differs his story from the other stories is that, in his story, there's always hope, there's always hope if you open up, try to look at things, and God is always there. His always present in our lives, but too bad, we don't notice Him, because we are too busy doing something else.

One more thing I've learned in his book, is that, the proper use of adverbs and adjectives, ha ha.

As for this writing, I was thinking to read another book: "For the Impatient Bride" or write my own novel, tsk! tsk! I guess I really have a terrible problem on my laziness!

just a dream

It's been quite awhile that I have not seen this man in my dream, maybe a couple of years ago, and the last time I've dreamed of him is that, we were so close, but he's crying again and it's like I am holding and comforting him, (sigh in a major way) I really don't know why he always cry. Then last night, I thought he's not coming back but there he was in my dream, and he's crying again.

It's like this, there's two men in my life, both loving me but I have to choose one. And I choose the other man, instead of him. Of course he cried, and then, he never left, he just waited for me to go, I never saw him left, but I left him with this new man.

The sad thing is, the man that I choose is somewhat arrogant, and I told him to mind his manners towards my family, because he's the one that I choose, and so there he is try his best to be good to me and to my family. And the man that I choose? Believe me, I've met him already, just his side view but his everything is familiar. And after what happened? I really want to get back to the first man in my dream. And luckily it's just a dream, now that I am awake, I know now whom to choose, but the one whom my heart wants? Boy! I've never met him. So sad. So should I settle to the man I know, or should I wait for this man? Saying that I read, answered it, "do not settle for someone that is available, but instead settle to the one that your heart really needs." But who is this man? Do I sound like an impatient bride now? Oh, well!

I've been reading my previous posts since this month, and I've noticed that it's all about pain. Well, maybe this is one point in my life that I have to undergo, but life is like a book, I have to finished this chapter in order to start a new, and I think this chapter is almost over.

Last week, august 18, I woke up in the morning with a terrible headache, I was planning not to go to work but I still went to work that day. Upon arriving at work, I 've heard my neighbor talking about an accident along sablan going down San Fernando , La Union, the bus lost his control on the break so the bus fell on the cliff or on the mountain, it's so sad. No feeling at all just the headache, I must admit I don't want to associate anymore the headaches on accidents, although I know there's a connection.

Later that afternoon, as I was editing the news for the stringer of GMA 7, I was saddened by the news that there were 41 deaths already and 18 survivors, it's really sad. And guess what I exactly feeling at that moment? IT feels like I know someone from that accident who died, but I just can't figure out who, coz the I have no names or lists at that time.

August 19 at 8 Am, I just get up from bed, (still having an headache) I was out of my room, when my cp rang, it was Atty. Ofel, wondering why is he calling, maybe he's here in Baguio( he's in Tarlac) and he wants to see me, so I answered him, telling me that someone called him that a this blah blah was killed in an accident, he is one of the cassualties on the bus yesterday, so I said what???? Can you imagine that, just woke up still having a headache and you heard this early in the morning? Whew! I told him that I'll call Chit (my mami, the wife of dadi) I was hoping that she will answer me in a jolly voice like hello ghenski!!!!! how are you my dear!!!! I was really hoping for that answer, but my heart sank when I heared her sobs, telling me that dadi is one of the casualties. Shock! I cried, I try to be strong but I can't I told her that I will go there by her side that day. Whew! calling ofel back that it's really true that he's one of the casualties, I was crying when I told him that, but when I heard him strong still, I stop crying, it feels like that I zapped some courageousness in him. But when I went to marlon's wake, no, I was weak, I cried, and seeing mami cried that no more tears to shed because of pain, I cried more. I was talking to Marlon to at least show some sign but none, that's why I told mami, that he's gone, he crossed over.

Tomorrow is Marlon's burial I wanna go there, but it feels like I'm not gonna make it, but I don;t know, it feels like Im too weak, I don't know I can't explain. But I am praying that God will direct me what to do for tomorrow. And I know that, whatever what will happen tomorrow, he and mami will understand.

Yesterday, there was a hostage drama at the Quirino grandstand, that's the news break early afternoon of yesterday, I thought it was just an ordinary hostage drama that will not lead to a bloody ending, but I was wrong, at 7 in the evening when I saw his brother shouting, that the police is in the act of arresting, I don;t know but I have this feeling that his brother will going to die, but never expected that some other innocent will die too. You can call me crazy or whatsoever but that's what my feeling before the bloody ending.

I guess police who responded the crisis yesterday lacks intelligence, plans and equipments. Given the fact that they have sniper in place, but how can you fire when you can't even see the suspect? What lacks yesterday is a good negotiator, I don't know what could happened if there's a good middle man between the hostage taker and the government.

The question is who?

Im okay now, I may not right anything and everything in here, because there's something to be kept on my own. But what matter's most is, I'm fine, I've been to the doctor yesterday, hhhmmm he's a cutie in fairness hehe. Well, anyway, I'm in the process of dissecting my emotions, maybe I just missed a part of my life now, not necessary the reason why I am depressed. But I know God is good, and I think I didn't need a partner as of this time, I'm just rushing things up, and maybe blinded or should I say, jealous of what other's have. But at this very moment I am ok, not that 100% ok but manageable. Hhhmmm, what else? Everything will come at right time.And that time will be perfect for His glory perfected it. Ciao!

don't cry out loud

don't cry out loud i'll keep it inside, I guess that's what I'm going to sing from this very moment, I am depressed and I hate it, I don't want to talk to anybody right now even if someone wants to talk with me, yeah the least person I've ever expected.

I feel so alone and sad, I asks myself, why it has to be this way, why I felt and continue to feel this way. I've been patiently listening to cries of other people and my friends, and keep on giving opinions and comforting words, now it's my time to cry, why is it that nobody wants to hear me, that's make me sad, but crazy, there's this man who wants to listen, but I keep on pushing him away, you know what? because I don't want him too, the more I confessed what's happening to me the more I cry. Maybe, times like this, really happens and I don't know how long it will lasts, I hope soon because it makes me sick, I try to be happy, and I am happy now, but a little bit sad, I am crying while I'm writing this. Can't understand myself right now, hope this will be over, I'm not myself this past few days.

So many things I want to write but I don't know, there's a feeling of hesitancy on my part, there's hope all over my heart and in my soul, just feel a little bit tired. I need time of myself now. The people that I love I will keep you in my heart, and it doesn't matter anymore if you will love me back, I will be hurt but there's nothing I can do.

When I'll be back it would be different, it will be old brand new me, la la la, hehe

I had this freaking moment last Monday, I was alone at the office, and I went to my brother's computer table, then when I was about to take a sit, I move the chair, and then I heard someone says "excuse me" it was a woman's voice, so I have to look around, if there's someone came, but I was still alone, so I moved again the chair, maybe it's just the sound of the chair squeezed on the floor but it's not. I've heard a lot, but still I have to be sure every time I hear voices, it's freaking really. Then I prayed that God will saves us from any kind of harm. It's always like this that when I heard voices, I got sick, just like yesterday. Haizz I hope this will come to pass.

Just confused this past few days, because of some stones on the road, I asked God what to do, who will clear my way, if this journey is worth taking for, frankly speaking I still don't know, but one thing is sure now, I have peace in my heart and that's all that matter. Thanks to my family who had been my backbone and friends who had been my skin. And God who erases all the doubts in my heart, and like I always tell myself, God is love. And to him, who continues to confused me, who teaches me to be more responsible to all the things I have to.

But life is full of surprises, I thought I'm done with that thing that stresses me, here it goes again. I have a problem with my editing software, of all the days, of all the time, that I need it, why now? I have so much things to do, why now? I can't reformat my computer because I just formatted it two weeks ago, so I have to edit it in slow but sure manner, avoid errors as much as I can, so I have to divide all the videos so that I can render and save something, and it takes a lot of time to do it. Why is it that my pc is not cooperating!!!!! I feel so terrible....

Plus, my neighbor, my very neighbor, of all the days that God made, there's nothing in her mouth than politics, how she went on the streets yesterday because the sister of the candidate she wants to vote was here. She's been yelling about this candidate that if he won, like this, like this, blah blah, she's been parroting everyday, aarrgh she's getting into my nerve. We'll see on monday what will be her press release.

My God, sana may mabubuting tao. I know kahit paano may kasalanan ako sa nangyari pero sana naman hindi masayang yon. Huhu, kasi sayang naman talaga yon. Hindi ako nawawalan ng pag-asa na may mabubuting puso mula sa daigdig na ito. Hindi ko man kalahi, pero naniniwala ako na meron at meron may mabubuting puso.

I am afraid to love you

I am afraid to loose you

I don't want to try

I don't want to cry

But stubborn heart I got

Fear in my heart I forgot

For love is sweet

and it's you, the need of my heart

How high is the mountain

How deep is the ocean

I don't know, neither of it

But I know I love you

Promises I will not make

For thy heart is only human

God be my witness

That I love you today

Tomorrow, will still be my today

Then, I still be loving you

If thine heart stops

My soulful heart will keep on loving you

Wow, after finishing this post it will be my second post for the year, can you imagine that? It's been idle for awhile, whew! Haiiizzz, why is it that there are insensitive people? Thought they are good but when they are done with, it's done, you know what I am talking about? Yeah I guess, I don't know why I feel this way, I love to give help and yeah I did not expect anything in return but I am insulted by her responses, that's all, I have to release this and I hope by writing it down, the burden will lighten up (cross-finger).

eeerrr it's been quite long that I have not visited my blog, it's not that I have nothing to write but I've been busy at work. Yeah. work is terrible so as farmville, my dog ran away again, so sad. I feel sick today due to the rain yesterday. Yeah it rains so so hard, and we have a garden wedding, result is, change venue. No problem about that, the only thing is that, it's very difficult to carry all our gadgets and materials because they are heavy and it's difficult to climb the stairs specially when it's raining and you don't have an umbrella. I think I've hurt my shoulder.

I'm confused alright? hhmmm Do I have to make a call? Nah I pray tonight and get some answers, I think I've been good and God will listen to me and answer my prayer.

disturbing dreams

I have known myself to dream unusual dreams, like burning buildings, collapsing building because of a natural calamity, furious people that I don't know, events, and sometimes they do happen, so it's like a dejavu.
But lately, I don't but these dreams lately became disturbing, the first is, someone is wearing my underwear, I just ignore it because it might be just a "rebound effect" of my previous activities. Then, again, I dreamed that someone is wearing my denim jacket, which I immediately to the laundry basket, coz I got scared already.
Two interpretations that came into my mind, someone wants my identity (OA ko) or someone wants to inflict harm on me. Now I am sick...I just don't know if there's a connection to any of my dreams. I am sick because CAP Building is so cold when Sitel held a program, my body is weak pn cold places.