I can't remember

Last night, I was looking for a notebook, because I am going to write something, then I saw my old diary, I think 3 or 4 years ago, as I go over my old diary, I can no longer remember what happened at that date hahaha, I try to go down on memory lane but it seems that I am having a memory gap not selective amnesia.  Then I read again what I post, "Kung hindi mo haharapin ang pag-ibig, babalikan ka niya." I try to recall who's friend who said this to me, buh alas I can no longer remember him/her. Sad is it? But I laugh at what I've said all throughout, boy I was immature at that time. Anyways, it's about the mystery of love, my not so favorite topic.

yes!!!!!

After so many attempts to log in on this blog, I finally made it, huwaw! I was really heartbroken when I was not able to access this blog, but thank God, I made it.

Oh well what can I tell, suppose to be summer now but look at the weather, we have rain almost everyday. But that's a blessing shortage of water is no longer a problem to us. But I hope we don't have fluctuating weather (hot -cold, cold-hot) coz it's crazy, my body cannot easily adjust on that kind of weather, and as of now I have colds. Hope to feel better for tomorrow because we have video coverage.

End of this now, write more on my next log.

God bless everyone!

love yoursef

It goes something like this: "mahalin mo muna sarili mo, bago ang iba" heard this over and over and over again. And recently in 100 days to heaven, and reaction ng mga tao, so true lang masabi. It always looks new, pero gasgas na gasgas na ito, at bakit lagi parang bago ito? Simply because only few are loving themselves. (I think) Dahil if we love ourselves we should love our neighbor too, including our enemies, coz sometimes, nagiging kaaway mo ang iyong kapit-bahay. And if you love yourself, with all your might, hindi mo hahayaan na masaktan ka di ba? So the same din sa iyong kapwa, kung mahal mo hindi mo rin hahayaan na masaktan sila, di ba? But sometimes we also choose pain, kahit gaano natin hindi ka-gusto saktan ang kapwa natin, pero kung and dating sa kanya yong sinasabi natin ay masakit, wala na tayo magagawa don, and I guess we should always keep our intention pure, no matter what. Yon lang, chok!

love love love

I was reading my friend's notes yesterday, I was surprise when he also writes about the world "I love you" the one I wrote here a few months ago, about I God and you that if you accept my love together we will build a relationship and God as the center. Well he told me about it that he writes something but he never told me that he writes what I write. And I think I wrote about it that, that thing is I heard on a wedding sermon by a priest, so I decided to share on my blog.

But anyways, love is synonymous to confusion, even in a soap opera tells that when 2 people are in-love they act crazy. And when we are in-love everybody wants to be happy, because we thought that love makes us happy. We did not know that happiness is a matter of decision, and love is a matter of feeling. I don't know but for me love is feeling as well as a decision.

Let's go back to being happy in love, remember that's not always the case because love is a sacrifice. That's why many got frustrated when it comes to sacrificing. All they know is being happy, not sacrifice. Many did not know that to sacrifice is to be happy.

We love people according to our knowledge of love and experience about love, right? And as a receiver of the love, we cannot push somebody or anybody to love us the way we want to be love, because like I said, we love according to our knowledge, experiences and feelings. But can we make an exception about this? Why not loving people the way they want to be love? To make them happy? HHmmm maybe it will work in a month but not a lifetime. I called that pretending and spoiling, love should not be that way, Love is genuine. Besides it's hard to pretend specially in love. If you can't make others happy, atleast inspire them. Remember that Love is still Love even if it's not reciprocated. (I just told this to Michelle) in short Love Uncondtionally.

I want to talk more, but I am going to reserve that on my next adventure.

I'm Loyal

Hey I just created a tumblr account, but that does not mean that I will leave this blog, no way hehe, I'm just having fun that's why I created one, well it's pretty cool, but I got lost in the process. But I found my way out, thanks to my little knowledge on technology hehe. If you want to read my first post, it's airaregine.tumblr.com and follow me on twitter it's @airaregine thanks. I don't have much to do today, I mean, I'm done what I ought to do today, just downloading of some missed episode on Secret of American Teenager, and I got this quote, "Maybe you are married for the wrong reason, but stayed together with the right reason." Aahhh reason, does every thing have a reason? hhmmm I wonder. Maybe I should write about something about reason some other time. See yah folks!

froggy wednesday

Love is bigger and wider than the universe. So stop playing hide and seek with coz I don't have enough patience to search you. That's what on my mind today, shouted it on FB and on twitter. Oh well I spent more my time on twitter this days than FB, because I just made my mind that majority on Facebook are feelers. You know that kind of stuff, so feeling down as if their the only people on earth who have problems, feeling unloved, feeling beautiful etc. Whew! I'm thinking of deleting them hehe. But anyways, back to what I shouted, I did not really mean that stuff. Of course I know that Love is patience. What I truly mean is that, Love is wider and bigger than the universe, so everywhere you look, anytime you want love, there is love. So, don't feel so depress or suicidal whenever your heart gets broken, because love is always available, just make yourself available to love. Just got distracted aizt, but I'm glad that someone is here awhile ago, her laugh is so contagious, I want to make it as my ring back message. Nice!

cold, cold

I have colds (sniff) but that's not the reason why I did not post, it's because I was so busy, well I'm still busy but no mood to work now. I supposed to post something a week ago, because I felt bad about the news on same sex marriage. It was June 25, I remembered it right, I was on a wedding, and a reported texted me where am I, and I told him that I was at a wedding. No idea what's the news about, then came Monday, he was handling me the news, and I was viewing it, I felt that my blood risen up at the back of my neck, oh, Lord what's happened?

I just want to make myself clear, I have nothing against lesbians and gays, I have friends that belong to the third sex, I don't even condemn the act committed by them, but what I am furious about is the rite their perform. It's almost the rite as my faith, hello, can you have other rite? I mean, your just mimicking other religion's right, and you call that holy? I just hope that soon they will come to your senses. Anyways, I don't want to prolong my sentiments on that issue, over and out!

wondering

I was wondering when was the story about Santa Claus and the elves started. I know something about Santa, he's a wealthy man decided to become priest and Bishop of Myra but was persecuted during the roman empire. He was known for his love to the children specially to the less fortunate. His a wealthy man but his parents died when he was young. Then he sold all his belongings and give it to the poor, after his death, he was known for his love to children. So, that's the fact I know about santa or the Father of Christmas., in which he was n ever married so there is no Mrs. Claus.

About his elves, his official helpers, I know less about them, but what I heard is, elves are nature spirits, and according to the book that I am reading (it's a religious book authored by a catholic priest) elves are nature spirits which is basically evil. Ahhhaaa! If this is true, that elves are evil and helping Santa to make toys for kids, I'd rather play tumbang preso with the "taong-grasa" over the street than playing toys, made by demons. Although, Santa is a myth BUT St. Nicholas is not. Now i know. Merry Christmas, yeah I know, it's June, but it's a nice feeling to feel the spirits of Christmas everyday, coz when it's Christmas all of us are good, all of us are givers. See? Everything about Christmas is good, minus the elves. Hehehe!

just another day

Good day bloggers! It's been awhile again, anyways, today I was so desperate to find the piano sheets of the following songs, what are words, fall for you, and first love, whew! It's difficult than expected, I am planning to buy in on store but they are not available, so how's that? desperation continues. I cried over and over when I watched chris medina's what are words, but when i woke this morning I've realized that there's nothing to cry about, but instead a celebration of love. Despite what happened to his girlfriend he still love and care for her, what a great a love, and it's a nice feeling to know that great love still exists at this point in time.

Ok, another desperation is about a book entitled "Exorcism, Encounter by the Paranormal and the Occult" don't get me wrong, this book was written by Fr. Jocis, head of exorcist in the Diocese of Manila. I've been searching and waiting for this book over a year now, but I got this book ON TIME, as in at the right time. I can't say that I am a psychic for I know that being one is difficult and prone to the darkness. And speaking of darkness I almost invited the devil for a cup of tea, I added this one on FB and he's a psychic and I know that they have rituals in opening the third eye, I almost mailed him on how to open the third eye, coz I really want to open mine, and I know that I am ready with it, and I know too that with the opening of my third eye I am able to help people, well that's what I am thinking . But then my friend went to Manila for some business and i really beg him to search and buy the book for me, and thank God he really bought it for me. Then I was still thinking of mailing the psychic, but due to my shyness and the book that I got, I postponed it, and there I came across on the word "occult" supernatural powers does not need any incantation nor meditation, for if you do, you are invoking the devil to help you in such circumstances, and if you keep on practicing it, possible possession would occur. See? thanks to my shyness and the book. If not, I maybe indulging in preternatural powers. Thank God really. But something crazy happen when I started to read the book, I don't know if it's coincidence but when I am trying to put my bracelets on that morning it's just broke and the beads scattered all over my bed, then I got another one, and guess what it's broken too, beads scattered again, it's like iikksss ppffttt, so what? Then I started saying, really? seriously? I just say a little prayer. Trust me, I know when there's something in my own very room. But sign of the cross really helps as Father Jocis do. whew! that's for now, I'll be back later.

just a reply

I was watching Anthony Taberna's Iba Balita last night, it's my first time to watch his show, I don't even know that our antenna can pick up the signal of studio 23, well in case you did not know about the show from the Balita it's a news and information show. And he interviewed former DOH secretary which I cannot recall her name (sorry) about RH Bill, she's a pro by the way but it's not my concern, Anthony asks a question, it's like aanhin natin ang maraming bata kung ang mga ito ay nagnanakaw ng cellphone, nagda-drugs or nagra-rugby. " It's a nice question but, is it the fault of the government if we have this kind of young individual? for me NO, maraming bata mula sa Luzon, Visayas at Mindanao anga lumaki sa hirap pero hindi sila gumagawa ng masama, at hindi kailanman dahilan ang kahirapan upang gumawa tayo ngkahit anong kabalbalan. Para sa akin, kasalanan ng magulang iyan, at ang pagkukulang ng magulang ay isinisisi natin sa gobyerno. Like I said, maraming bata ang nagugutom pero hindi lahat ng bata ay nag-iisip ng masama. Maraming bata ang namulat sa karangyaan pero ano ang ginagawa nila? Karamihan nagfi-facebook nasaan ang kabataan pag-asa ng bayan? Andun sa kalye nagwewelga sa tuition fee hike, ano ba talaga ang problema natin? Sino ba talaga ang problema, ang mahihirap o ang mga mayayaman? Nakapag-aral o ang walang pinag-aralan. Education is the key to success? Seriously? Sino ba ang nagpapahirap sa atin, mga mahihirap ba o ang mga nakapag-aral. Tsk TSk, unending question, we propose answer but never a solution. And I think RH BILL is neither an answer o solution. The sanctity of sex will be gone, isn't it that the purpose of sex is to pro-create? If you use birth-control devices as the pro RH call it, to have sex, then sex is just for pleasure. I remember one time, way back in college, the best natural method in population control is to say NO to SEX.

another day

I.ve been thinking what will I right today, because there’s so many things in my brain right now. What’s happening to the forum that I am moderating but I guess that’s part of life, you met people with bad attitude, jumping to conclusion without gathering datas to support their judgment. Funny thing is, they pretend to be ok when it’s not, I can say it’s ok to pretend that you are fine, who knows you can convince yourself that you are really ok. But this is what I am going to say: Never blame other people for what had happened to you or to your relationship because you are the one who arte in that relationship not other people, respect your mate, obey your mate because that’s one factor that you love your mate by obeying his words. I’m not saying total obedience what I am saying is, if you want your relationship to last, at least obey and respect your partner.

Love is patience. I was watching Sara Geronimo and Gerald Anderson’s Catch Me I’m In-love last night, its quite a kilig movie, and there’s this line “Love is not that easy like a facebook status that you can change it anytime you want” I was sharing this because there’s someone I know that she fell for someone that she barely knows but two days? Seriously? Oh well love moves in mysterious ways but I guess easy to get, easy to lose. Sometimes, love and death are the same they are like theft, they will attack you even if you are not ready.

Choose the people around you, remember the Bible saying about friends, “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are” this is true, no matter how good and noble person you are and you know that you are that kind of person, but you are hanging out with people with corrupted personality, you will be rotten also, like a fresh apple being mix with rotten apples.

Choose your words, wisely. Eat, Pray and Love, a quote from that movie, choose your word as you choose your dress. Master your thoughts, if you cannot master it, you will be in trouble. When I was younger, I really have a sharp tongue, that my words can kill a battalion of marines, and yes, I’ve always gotten myself in trouble, but as I grow maturely, I can now control my words. Meditation and prayer helps, and reading powerful quotes.

Mastering the word of God. That’s the only way you can defeat your enemy, internal or external. Everyday as I see people that makes my blood boil, I just close my eyes and remember what St. Paul says to the Corinth, Do not let your neighbor cause you into a sin. When I got mad, I’m really bad, and I don’t want my soul to suffer, that’s why it’s total control, and not to lose my grip to His Words but sometimes I lose myself, maybe it’s part of being my immaturity. I guess I should avoid people who are determined to put me down, what ya think? Hehehe yeah I know there’s so much more to share, but I am hungry now. Laterzzz

what happened?

Rise and Shine Regina hahaha. It's been a long time since I Updated this blog and I don't know why, maybe laziness strike, but really I got so busy on the first quarter of this year but today I am back on my feet. Whew!!! I miss talking here, but on a second thought what I am going to write.

Last week as I trying to fix my things on my room, in which I seldom do, I found all the lost notebooks that I thought I misplaced but voila nope, I just placed it somewhere along the four corner of my room. So I scan one the notebooks coz there are three notebooks that I thought I'd lost. I found small notes that I made, actually I made the note during a sermon on a wedding. I wrote there, I Love You, and Love is equivalent to God. I was thinking what on earth is the sermon is all about, darn my head, hahaha I can't remember it. The following night, I was reading a book entitled, "What would you do if Love found you" interesting book, well for me. It pop on my mind what's the sermon of the priest is all about.

So here it goes, I love you is a sacred word that the mere fact the God is love. When you say I love you, comprises with 3 personas I God and You, so every time that you said the word I love you, you have to mean it, because God is present there.

So it's like saying, I and God loving you, if you want we can make a good relationship together as God as our center. if you're a man or woman would you refuse that kind of word??? No comment on that, coz I believe that everything happens for good reason and every partner was choosen by God, if you allow Him to choose your partner. Bye for now......

another year

I thank God for another year to be with the people that I love and to enjoy God's unending love to me. I did not expect gifts (materials) from anybody but the time that those people who called, texted and message is enough gift already for I know that through thick and thin they will always be there for me. Although it was not that superb birthday because members of my family had a misunderstanding, well, every family have it sometimes, all you have to do is talk about, I just pray that all the involved party have an open mind about it.

And I don't know if I wrote something about my gift to myself about a novel that I am writing, well unfortunately I did not finish it yet, due to some reasons, but instead, like I said I just bought a book for me, I have not finished the first book yet, it's a collection of 40 love stories, it's a nice read, by the way, it's a sort of inspiration. Actually, at first I was hesitant to buy this book, because I was really rooting to buy "When God wrote your love story" I just want to read that book even if the surveys is a so-so book. Yeah I know that, there's no love story are the same, but since I want to gift myself aside from fancy earrings (its my collection by the way) I decided to buy that book, and again, it's just an option, for without the book "When God wrote your love story" I would buy the other book how to find your one true love, but then again the book is not availablem (sigh) And as I was browsing for an e-book I stumble to 125 ways to meet your one true love, and no ebook available as of this writing. Whew!

I remember, praying to God, "God please take care of Mr. Right for me, please?" (with matching smile) I am not tired of praying that every night even if there is no Mr. Right yet, and I asked myself, should I pray also that God let me meet Mr. Right? Yes, I pray that once in awhile, but deep in my heart, I'm not ready to meet him, specially the confusion I had in my dreams? Hhhhmmm I guess we should wait for the Godly time for both of us. If you are going ask me, why would I let my dreams confused me? It's just a dream! But no, dreams sometimes are God's way to talk to us, remember Abraham, Jacob, Joseph, etc? God speak to them in their dreams. So don't you just ignore your dreams.

people...people

I don't know where to start this one, uuhhmmm maybe I should start by mentioning the Cathedral. The cathedral is beautiful as ever, but It's more beautiful now, that some construction had been added to it, better sound system and the like. Different kind of people attend masses on this church, different kind people visited the church, but sometimes, my blood boils especially during Sundays, when non-catholics came up here, visited the cathedral, have their picture taken. I have no problem taking picture with the cathedral, me myself takes picture also, but NOT during SUNDAYS or during mass. There's this word "respect" as I have said no problem on taking pictures, but not when the Mass is going on, and specially when you have a loud voice, louder than the church bell yelling 1,2, 3 smile! followed by ha! ha! ha!

Other thing, you go there to pray, not to discuss a nursing board exam. I was really annoyed and disturbed one Sunday, when 3 students murmuring all throughout the mass discussing about their lessons, common the Church is not a place to discuss your lesson. Whew! another blood boiling incident, to avoid sin on church, stay away from this kind of corrupt individuals. So many places in the cathedral to hear mass, anyway its speaker is loud enough to hear even if you are at the giant stairs, but get distracted still by the passerby , plus vendors, if you decide to stay there. Solution is, don't be late when attending mass.

I was late again for the 4 PM mass, so I decided to stay at the front left part of the cathedral, (if your facing the cathedral) it's sermon time, my addiction now is to hear sermon of the priests, (not bad right). Well, there's this gay (I have nothing against gays, I have friends who are gays)

(he,she,it) with 2 friends(ladies) they just arrived and after millisecond, they leaved, the gay wave us by saying, "tara na, wala naman kuwenta makinig ng misa" I got shocked, and I looked at the person beside me, and his head turned from left to right, without a word, I read his mind.

Why I am writing this anyway, nothing, I'm just boring. Ha, ha, no actually I was really disappointed on people, not on all people, for I know that there are more people who have better heart.....

another book

I just finished reading the book, "You have the power to create love" by Bo Sanchez, actually it's my first time to read his book, I found out that all or almost his works are bestsellers. I just accidentally (or God really showed it to me) saw him on Facebook, you know the advertisement at the right side of the page, when you get to see various of groups, people, shows and so many more. It's not out of curiosity, I have seen his books on bookstores but did not bother to buy it. So I added him on my likes, so what happen is, if his page is updated, it will be shown on your wall, and the first ever post on my wall through him is about an hungry soul, and that's the beginning of my addiction to his words or works. Take note, not all addiction is bad, especially when you indulge yourself to this kind of addiction, listening to people that possesses the tongue of a saint and a heart of an angel.

Let's get back to the book, the book if I may described is blogger book (well that's my opinion) it consists of his own stories and experiences as a son, husband, father and a messenger of God. His stories are not extra-ordinary. I have heard and read stories like that before, more melancholic than his stories, but what differs his story from the other stories is that, in his story, there's always hope, there's always hope if you open up, try to look at things, and God is always there. His always present in our lives, but too bad, we don't notice Him, because we are too busy doing something else.

One more thing I've learned in his book, is that, the proper use of adverbs and adjectives, ha ha.

As for this writing, I was thinking to read another book: "For the Impatient Bride" or write my own novel, tsk! tsk! I guess I really have a terrible problem on my laziness!

just a dream

It's been quite awhile that I have not seen this man in my dream, maybe a couple of years ago, and the last time I've dreamed of him is that, we were so close, but he's crying again and it's like I am holding and comforting him, (sigh in a major way) I really don't know why he always cry. Then last night, I thought he's not coming back but there he was in my dream, and he's crying again.

It's like this, there's two men in my life, both loving me but I have to choose one. And I choose the other man, instead of him. Of course he cried, and then, he never left, he just waited for me to go, I never saw him left, but I left him with this new man.

The sad thing is, the man that I choose is somewhat arrogant, and I told him to mind his manners towards my family, because he's the one that I choose, and so there he is try his best to be good to me and to my family. And the man that I choose? Believe me, I've met him already, just his side view but his everything is familiar. And after what happened? I really want to get back to the first man in my dream. And luckily it's just a dream, now that I am awake, I know now whom to choose, but the one whom my heart wants? Boy! I've never met him. So sad. So should I settle to the man I know, or should I wait for this man? Saying that I read, answered it, "do not settle for someone that is available, but instead settle to the one that your heart really needs." But who is this man? Do I sound like an impatient bride now? Oh, well!

I've been reading my previous posts since this month, and I've noticed that it's all about pain. Well, maybe this is one point in my life that I have to undergo, but life is like a book, I have to finished this chapter in order to start a new, and I think this chapter is almost over.

Last week, august 18, I woke up in the morning with a terrible headache, I was planning not to go to work but I still went to work that day. Upon arriving at work, I 've heard my neighbor talking about an accident along sablan going down San Fernando , La Union, the bus lost his control on the break so the bus fell on the cliff or on the mountain, it's so sad. No feeling at all just the headache, I must admit I don't want to associate anymore the headaches on accidents, although I know there's a connection.

Later that afternoon, as I was editing the news for the stringer of GMA 7, I was saddened by the news that there were 41 deaths already and 18 survivors, it's really sad. And guess what I exactly feeling at that moment? IT feels like I know someone from that accident who died, but I just can't figure out who, coz the I have no names or lists at that time.

August 19 at 8 Am, I just get up from bed, (still having an headache) I was out of my room, when my cp rang, it was Atty. Ofel, wondering why is he calling, maybe he's here in Baguio( he's in Tarlac) and he wants to see me, so I answered him, telling me that someone called him that a this blah blah was killed in an accident, he is one of the cassualties on the bus yesterday, so I said what???? Can you imagine that, just woke up still having a headache and you heard this early in the morning? Whew! I told him that I'll call Chit (my mami, the wife of dadi) I was hoping that she will answer me in a jolly voice like hello ghenski!!!!! how are you my dear!!!! I was really hoping for that answer, but my heart sank when I heared her sobs, telling me that dadi is one of the casualties. Shock! I cried, I try to be strong but I can't I told her that I will go there by her side that day. Whew! calling ofel back that it's really true that he's one of the casualties, I was crying when I told him that, but when I heard him strong still, I stop crying, it feels like that I zapped some courageousness in him. But when I went to marlon's wake, no, I was weak, I cried, and seeing mami cried that no more tears to shed because of pain, I cried more. I was talking to Marlon to at least show some sign but none, that's why I told mami, that he's gone, he crossed over.

Tomorrow is Marlon's burial I wanna go there, but it feels like I'm not gonna make it, but I don;t know, it feels like Im too weak, I don't know I can't explain. But I am praying that God will direct me what to do for tomorrow. And I know that, whatever what will happen tomorrow, he and mami will understand.

Yesterday, there was a hostage drama at the Quirino grandstand, that's the news break early afternoon of yesterday, I thought it was just an ordinary hostage drama that will not lead to a bloody ending, but I was wrong, at 7 in the evening when I saw his brother shouting, that the police is in the act of arresting, I don;t know but I have this feeling that his brother will going to die, but never expected that some other innocent will die too. You can call me crazy or whatsoever but that's what my feeling before the bloody ending.

I guess police who responded the crisis yesterday lacks intelligence, plans and equipments. Given the fact that they have sniper in place, but how can you fire when you can't even see the suspect? What lacks yesterday is a good negotiator, I don't know what could happened if there's a good middle man between the hostage taker and the government.

The question is who?

Im okay now, I may not right anything and everything in here, because there's something to be kept on my own. But what matter's most is, I'm fine, I've been to the doctor yesterday, hhhmmm he's a cutie in fairness hehe. Well, anyway, I'm in the process of dissecting my emotions, maybe I just missed a part of my life now, not necessary the reason why I am depressed. But I know God is good, and I think I didn't need a partner as of this time, I'm just rushing things up, and maybe blinded or should I say, jealous of what other's have. But at this very moment I am ok, not that 100% ok but manageable. Hhhmmm, what else? Everything will come at right time.And that time will be perfect for His glory perfected it. Ciao!

don't cry out loud

don't cry out loud i'll keep it inside, I guess that's what I'm going to sing from this very moment, I am depressed and I hate it, I don't want to talk to anybody right now even if someone wants to talk with me, yeah the least person I've ever expected.

I feel so alone and sad, I asks myself, why it has to be this way, why I felt and continue to feel this way. I've been patiently listening to cries of other people and my friends, and keep on giving opinions and comforting words, now it's my time to cry, why is it that nobody wants to hear me, that's make me sad, but crazy, there's this man who wants to listen, but I keep on pushing him away, you know what? because I don't want him too, the more I confessed what's happening to me the more I cry. Maybe, times like this, really happens and I don't know how long it will lasts, I hope soon because it makes me sick, I try to be happy, and I am happy now, but a little bit sad, I am crying while I'm writing this. Can't understand myself right now, hope this will be over, I'm not myself this past few days.

So many things I want to write but I don't know, there's a feeling of hesitancy on my part, there's hope all over my heart and in my soul, just feel a little bit tired. I need time of myself now. The people that I love I will keep you in my heart, and it doesn't matter anymore if you will love me back, I will be hurt but there's nothing I can do.

When I'll be back it would be different, it will be old brand new me, la la la, hehe

I had this freaking moment last Monday, I was alone at the office, and I went to my brother's computer table, then when I was about to take a sit, I move the chair, and then I heard someone says "excuse me" it was a woman's voice, so I have to look around, if there's someone came, but I was still alone, so I moved again the chair, maybe it's just the sound of the chair squeezed on the floor but it's not. I've heard a lot, but still I have to be sure every time I hear voices, it's freaking really. Then I prayed that God will saves us from any kind of harm. It's always like this that when I heard voices, I got sick, just like yesterday. Haizz I hope this will come to pass.