no matter how

i just realize this past few days that you cannot force yourself to love someone...someone that really loves you, and willing to do anything and everything for you...well i met this guy, i thought i love him but i was wrong, maybe because i met the real him, hindi naman sa masama ugali niya pero ayoko yong dinedemand ako at isa pa ayoko yong gusto niyang mangyari na to have sex with him...duh yoko nga hindi ko feel wahehehee....maybe i don't like the idea of a seb so i stopped talking to him, then i got a call from him na papakamatay daw siya, so scared my heart sabi ko sa kanya gawin niya gusto niya but really i was so scared and keep on praying na sana huwag....and i hated him the most coz he let me feels like a paranoid sa kaabang ng news, na baka may nag-suicide or ano kasi yong haus nila lapit sa national road ng muntinlupa sabi sa akin, tatalon daw siya sa building don, diba katakot? so i ask friend fo possibe nga ba mga suicide coz i really, really am so nervous and scared kaya sinabi ko sa friend ko nangyari then he told me this, at talagang bumaon sa utak ko, a man who lusts will not think of ending his life coz the lust will last...waheheheh....the end na sana kaso last november 1 nag txt siya and then i replied asking kung patay o buhay yong kausap ko....wahehehe bad me, but nyways, same old him, makulit at demanding pa rin, we talk about what i don't like and he told me na nagawa lang niya iyon kasi mahal niya ako (touch ako) i know i can love him pero ang bigat niyang dalhin to the point na hindi ako masaya sa kanya...hay buhay pag-ibig nga naman napaka-hiwaga mo....