cold night

malamig ang gabi, hindi ko alam kong yong electric fan lang iyan o talagang malamig, siguro nga malamig na dala ng hanging amihan, palibhasa malapit na ang pasko. Haaayyy pasko na naman, bakit kaya na naman, di ba araw-araw ay pasko, paano nga gawing araw-araw ang pasko? Huwag tanggalin ang mga palamuti sa bahay, mga parol na nakasabit sa bintana at mga maniningning na kislap ng mga Christmas lights? Sa tingin ko wala sa palamuti iyan, nasa puso, sana balang araw, gawing pasko ay araw-araw, yong pag-ibig manatili sa bawat puso ng tao, ng sa ganun, walang away, at mga boss natin magbigay lagi ng bonus hehe, at sana penitensiya ng mga corrupt na tao sa pangungurakot at isipin ang kapakakanan ng ibang tao.

it's saturday

masakit ang braso ko, parang may naiipit na ugat hindi ko masyado mataas. huhu

sa buhay natin, may kanya-kanya tayong papel na ginagampanan, hini lang bilang anak o magulang, asawa o kaibigan. Bukod sa mga ito ay meron pa, yong tipong maging taga-pakinig o taga-bigay opinyon at iba pa.

Sa akin naman ay okay lang ang papel na iyan, naisip ko nga baka iyan ang purpose ko in life, taga-comfort, isip ko nga bata pa ako, buhay pa tatay ko, ako yong tinutulak nila para mag-ceasefire ang mga magulang namin, tuwing mag-aaway ang nanay at tatay namin, syempre ako naman kelangan gawin, kasi bilang bata (4 years old ako nun) takot ako sa dilim, eh ikaw ba naman iiwan sa labas na pagkadilim-dilim kasama ang mga manok iiyak ka talaga, so pag-iyak ko, papasok na kami sa loob ng bahay, at kapag nakita na ng nanay ko na umiiyak ako, titigil na iyan sa kakatalak, o see effective di ba?

Ngayon, napansin ko na, nasanay na ako sa ganitong buhay, yong tipong may icocomfort o bibigay ng opinyon, thou minsan walang katuturan mga pinagsasabi ko, but still some are listening.

Sometimes, kapag nagbabasa ako sa mg forums, lalo na sa mga love and rel threads, there times na nararamdaman ko yong pain nila, kasi alam ko marami posters na peke na kesyo nangyari sa kanila o what, minsan nga, gusto ko deretsuhin ang isang forumer na may problema daw sila sa bf niya, i want to tell her na siya ang may problema kasi may iba siyang lalaki na nagugustuhan, i don;t know but I just know na ganun, but then I might be wrong.

When I tell people that I read their minds without seeing them they answered ows? hehehe actually i dont read their minds, i just sense their behavior, tried and tested na iyan, hehe

info

i deleted some of my posts, kung i decided to make this blog as the "thought blog" kung ano laman ng utak at damdamin ko kapag sinisipag ako mag-posts medyo diyahe kasi kapag may nahalong, test novel hehe...
I just love to create stories and if you have time visit my other blog bangkatloveletter
I'll post some of it later.
Right now, masakit tiyan ko kaya hindi ko na maipagpapatuloy ang aking pagsusulat.
Whew sayang at in the mood ang utak ko ngayon.

so sad

friday last week, sobsob ako sa trabaho, at may di inaasahang dumating na bisita, it was my friend's husband, di ako makapaniwala then he said "hoy! hindi mo na ako kilala" shock lang kasidiko expect na andito siya, so unang reaksion is, aaayyyy asan si dianne, (my friend) with all the excitement, then he said, naiwan, nasa hospital si Erin eh (their daugther) yong pagbulusok ng energy ko to know that their here, parang lumagapak, coz i miss her terribly, equal sa pagka-miss ko sa ate ko. And then last monday I attended the birthday of their son, ethan was so energetic kid, and lovable, he's so huggable but lil bit snobbish hehehe, expected na iyon kasi tagal na niya ako di nakikita, 2 years old pa lang siya ng huli kaming magkita. Awhile ago, open ko yong email ko, na once a week ko lang inoopen, I 've got an email from dianne, nd I just can't help it, my tears is flowing, the fact that she's now a mom and her daugther is in and out in the hospital, tapos wala ka kasama, ikaw lang, and she told na she wants to go home, but the condition of erin will not allow them to go home, I know that she needs the comfort of her family pero yon nga hindi pwede. and up to now, i can't find words to reply to her email, she's alone there right now, and I often tell her that she has to be brave for her daugther, but sometimes you just can't. hhaayyysss yes I've got a good news from my bf but this thing it really makes me cry, but right now, I have nothing to worry, the Bible says, why worry if you can pray.

wala magawa

she's furious.revenge was on her system, and nothing could stop her. devastated totally that Marc, her Marc is getting married. She wanted to touch him and tell him that she loves him so much but she simply can't. On the other hand, a woman is grieving too, on the thought that Marc is still longing for his ex-girlfriend, and decision she makes? drop the wedding. Czarina was long dead, but still can't cross-over because she left her heart with Marc. But thanks to Joe, Marc bestfriend, who had been secretly in-love with Czarina, he'd been searching for her, all his dead-time, but at long last, on Marc's wedding, he finally found Czarina, and Czarina, find peace with Joe and together hand in hand, saw the light and entered the door of everlasting happiness.

reason bakit di ako masyado nanonood ng ghost whisperer, naiiyak ako every episode :(

hhaayyy buhay

mahirap pa lang gumawa ng isang story, isang nobela, di ka lang masisiraan ng ulo kundi magtatae ka pa. ako kasi, habang nag-iisip nguminguya which according to psychology, hindi tama kasi ang utak naka-program na meron siyang ida-digest kaya hindi maka-pag-isip,. di ba nga ang taong busog hindi naka-pag-iisip ng mahusay? pero bakit ko nga ba ginagawa ang bagay na iyon? hehehe.

siguro ngayon seryoso na ako sa pagsusulat, ooppsss konti lang, hehehe meron daw competition, film competition, kasi mag centennial na baguio kaya meron contest chuva na ganon hehe, I can think of the synopsis na pero mukhang mahirap, at pangit sa-sumbit pa kay direk? teka di ba ako magdidirek non? wakokoko kunwari lang, sa producer ko pala papakita, pero seriously, kelangan ng cerebrum ko double time mag-isip hehehe,kasi ba naman,ang theme dapat daw related sa centennial? wweee kala ko pa naman pwede love story.

for now, kelangan ko muna tapusin love story nina michael at margaret la la la.

sermon

ganda ng sermon ng pari kanina...twice kasi ako nakinig ng sermon, isa sa sunday tv mass, magagaling naman talaga mga pari don, very informative, sometimes funny din, don mo makikita na may pinag-aralan nga ang mga kaparihan sa philosophy hehe, the gospel is about Jesus healing the blind man, it's nice word, kasi paano daw nakapunta ang bulag kung nasaan si Kristo eh bulag siya, so maari na meron nag-akay sa kanya papunta doon, then the priest said, kung hindi man tayo ang dahilan para maka-kita ang ma bulag sana hindi tayo ang dahilan para mabulag ang kapwa natin, kung hindi man tayo ang dahilan para umangat ang iba, sana hindi tayo ang dahilan para matisod sila, nice words coming from a religious person, and then I went to Cathedral, and it;s the same, it's about the blind man, but he said that there are two kinds of blindness, the physical blindness and the spiritual blindness which is more difficult to cure, and he said that, Jesus is the light of the world, just let Him in lahat magliliwanag, and he continued, na main problem of the Philippines is not ecomic or political is the bad things that we are doing, those immoral things that other people are doing, and the solution is not to change the government but to change our hearts, then he said that seminarians can longer teach the word of God in some public schools they can no longer inculcate values to students, coz there are so many requirements of Ched especially in terms of information technology, maybe Filipinos are globally competitive but morally defective aray ko, pero may tama si Father, marami ng naliligaw ng landas, lalo na sa kabataan, but for me, hindi ko masisi ang mga kabataan na ito kung sila ay naliligaw dahil, wala naman na silang makitang tinatawag na, role model nila, so sad, dahil an ginagawa ang karamihan ay puro na lang pagpapayaman, to think when you die, you can't bring all your richness to heaven, it's better to have richness in your heart than on your pocket.